IN BUDDY'S EYES

I tell you...for this brief moment in time, my world has collapsed. I am saddened to announce that my great love and totally precious and tender-hearted little boy, Buddy Bear Emerick Butler Greer, has died. He was diagnosed with multiple myeloma about six months ago, and finally succumbed to the disease at his home this past Saturday at age 14.

From as far back as I can remember my feeling about Buddy was that he had been plucked straight out of a storybook. And in a sense, he really had been, because he came to all of us at 661 by divine appointment.

Here’s the unbelievable story of Buddy: Our cherished next door neighbor, the late great Bob Emerick, had been the editor of Sesame Street for over twenty years and had a dog named Boomer that (no lie) resembled a giant muppet. You think I’m exaggerating but I’m not. Boomer looked and acted like a gigantic floppy darling frenzied muppet. It was so freaky at times to watch Bob and Boomer interact that at one point I think I experienced a momentary scare and thought maybe Boomer was a puppet and Bob a total freak ventriloquist. That sounds outrageous, I know. But it really is quite a peculiar scare when you experience any type of strange “never experienced before” intimacy. It’s like a curtain is pulled back and you’re like, WHOAH. LOOK AT THAT. ANIMALS ARE DIVINE CREATURES AND HUMANS ARE LIKE PROGRAMMED ROBOTS. BUT THESE TWO SEPARATE BEINGS ARE IN TOTAL ALIGNMENT WITH ONE ANOTHER. It’s like what Abraham Hicks says: you can’t truly understand something in life unless you experience it. And suddenly I was experiencing this otherworldly, joyous and silly kinship between dog and man and understanding the miracle of it. Sometimes Boomer was the dog and Bob was the man — but sometimes Boomer and Bob were both dogs. HAHAHA. In retrospect I wonder in this moment if that is why Bob excelled so deeply at his job editing a children’s show — and why scores of Emmys lined his colorful creative space. Just as he would morph into a dog when he was with Boomer — he became a child again when he was alone in that editing room, working. Well...he wasn’t alone in that editing room. Boomer was always there with him, sleeping peacefully on the floor beside him. And then they would come home together at night — and the magic would begin. I could hear them playing and chasing each other at all hours.

Anyway, when Bob’s soulmate Boomer died, Bob was so bereft that we began to worry about the state of his well-being. We lit candles and placed them outside our building in Boomer’s honor. The entire neighborhood missed Boomer’s exaggerated looks and darling spirit; so much so that they began to leave flower bouquets outside of the building beside my candles. Boomer was a true dog celebrity. After several months of having to endure Bob not shaving or sleeping and eating nothing but hamburgers and french fries, we gently suggested that Bob get another dog. Bob, of course, thought this was a terrible idea. He was convinced that Boomer was irreplaceable. I mean...who could EVER top Boomer????

Bob missed Boomer so much that he was willing to try anything. So he contacted a very gifted animal communicator (pet psychic extraordinaire) to ask her if she could contact Boomer on the other side of the veil, to say hello and also ask him what he thought Bob should do. And she did contact Boomer — and his answer was quite surprising. Boomer told the animal communicator to tell Bob to wait a certain number of months to give himself time to heal his heart. And THEN Bob was instructed to go to the North Shore Animal Rescue on a specific day in the month of October and at a specific time — and was told that if he followed the protocol laid out for him, he would then find the spirit of Boomer in another dog’s body. Bob asked how he would know which dog was Boomer, and was told that when he came upon the dog that was Boomer that his heart would start racing and pounding uncontrollably.

Cut to: THE BIG DAY (and present tense, for kicks)

So the big day of Bob being reunitedwith his soulmate finally arrives!! He showers and shaves and puts on his Sunday finest and shows up to the rescue place and promptly presents the lady behind the desk with Boomer’s picture and tells her that he is looking for a dog that looks just like THAT to take home — and the lady laughs in his face! Haha She tells him that there is NO DOG IN THE WORLD that looks like his old dog, Boomer. But Bob is still hopeful. He asks the woman if he can tour the facility to check out each dog — which he does— and as fate may have it, he feels not one iota of a connection with any of the dogs! He just can’t believe it! He feels so forlorn and ripped off and his heart sinks and he decides to forget the whole thing and go home with his tail between his legs.

And as he walks outof the building, he passes a door that says: DO NOT ENTER. ...And what does he do? HE OPENS THE DOOR AND ENTERS!! And there, sitting in a cage in the middle of this dark and dingy room, sits a medium-sized black precocious puppy. Bob approaches the cage, and as he bends down to say hello, he says, “Hey buddy, hey pal, how ya doing?” AND LO AND BEHOLD — HIS HEART STARTS BEATING VERY FAST AND POUNDING OUT OF CONTROL!!! And Bob starts to cry and he shouts, “This is the one! I found him!” And again the lady from the front desk laughs in Bob’s face at the histrionics but also scolds him for entering the room and then explains in an exhausted huff that the tiny Black-Coated Retriever/Chow mix has just been dropped off and not even vetted and so not available for adoption yet. But Bob is undeterred and gets the dog. And I just happen to be in the hallway that day standing at the front door in anticipation when Bob and Buddy arrive back home — and can STILL remember the moment when Buddy Boy Emerick bounded through the door like he had lived there forever-(or at least before! Hahaha) — and swept me off of my feet! He was this shiny and gorgeous and smiling floppy and wiggling angel that seemed to me to have manifested himself from straight out of “The Wonderful World of Disney” and forget it — it wasn’t just love at first sight — it was heightened knock-you-off-your-feet ardor and mystical recognition!!

As soon as Buddy Boy showed up to 661Tenth, it was as if his spirit had lifted a terrible spell off of all of our psyches and grace came calling. At the time, Buddy’s name was Qbert — a perfect name for a muppet!! But even Bob wasn’t sold on it, and so called up the animal communicator (his new best friend) and asked her if his precious dog actually liked the name Qbert. And she answered, “No. But he loved it when you called him Buddy.”

For as long as I have known Buddy, his pure and magical essence has felt so out of place in this dog-eat-dog third dimension. Buddy’s physical beauty captivated everyone’s eye (his thick and gorgeous curls, his human-like empathic eyes, his gorgeous and expressive face that belongs on the big screen) but his happy-go-lucky spirit and tender and pure heart made any time spent in his company seem heightened and otherworldly. And lucky. Being by Buddy’s side made you feel LUCKY. He broke all of our hearts with love constantly. Buddy emanated pure love and pure light. He carried unbearable amounts of goodness and kindness. He was so gentle. He loved giving kisses.

Buddy became best friends with ourdogs Milo and Flora Poste and every weekend all three dogs would go off to the country together with Bob, and they would always stop at a Wendy’s somewhere along the way for hamburgers! It’s no wonder why the three of them would drive away with Bob and never look back. I was like the mother left behind sobbing and waving the white hanky and they were like, “Sarah WHO?”

I loved it. Watching the three of them play together reminded me of Tom Sawyer, Huck Finn and Becky.

One day (it was five years ago) Ibecame overwhelmed with this funny feeling and I said to Bob, “Bob...if anything happens to you, Kit and I will take care of Buddy. He’s our child, too.” And he said, “Nothing is going to happen to me.” And then he died! He passed away suddenly and that’s when Buddy became our baby. Bob and Buddy ‘s kinship was so tight that we were worried about Buddy’s well-being. So Kit called the animal communicator (she was plugged into our speed dial at this point) while I was out walking Buddy — and somehow through the telephone lines, the animal communicator explained to Buddy that Bob had died and wasn’t coming back. She told Buddy that from now on he was going to live with us. And do you know...from the moment that Buddy and I entered that building and then from that day forward, Buddy NEVER went to the other side of the hallway again. He never visited Bob’s apartment EVER again.

Buddy was my baby but our friendship was so much more than that. Buddy was my companion and his devotion and our intense connection felt like the biggest blessing of my life. His joy was palpable. He was so happy — always smiling. He loved to play with his toys and with Milo and Flora. His biggest joy was opening presents; he would see a wrapped package and his eyes would immediately get as big as saucers — and he would rip off the wrapping paper in a frenzy — and so we very often would wrap his bones and old toys up for daily pleasure. He was a big boy but loved more than anything in the world, to sit on your lap. He was so trusting. He believed everyone was good at heart.

In the end, when his cancer had metastasized and tumors were visibly running up his arm into his shoulder and his jaw — and had taken over his insides, he continued to smile and kiss and cuddle. We got him a stroller when he could no longer walk. Up until the day he died, he was being pushed in his carriage to Central Park to see the squirrels and along the Hudson River to breathe in the sunshine and the fresh air. And the sight of him in his carriage brought so much joy to people’s faces. He was a lifter. He lifted all spirits at all times.

And to bring things full circle, I think it is fascinating that we contacted the same animal communicator that Bob used to find his precious Buddy at the beginning of his spiritual appointment with this divine soul, to ask for her assistance in helping us to now let Buddy go and be led back into the arms of Bob when the time was right. And Buddy told Cindy Smith that he was worried about leaving me behind. I told Cindy Smith to tell Buddy that I would miss him terribly and think about him every single day. And I expressed what an honor it was to know a soul that vibrated at such a high frequency as his. And I thanked him for teaching me the power of joy and devotion by example. And I told him that I would be okay and that it was time for him to release himself and let go. And I also told him that he should get his party hat on for the celebration that was about to take place in his honor! And I reiterated — as did all of us at 661 — that we would all be celebrating his reunion with Bob and Milo and Postie again.

On Friday Buddy was in so much pain he couldn’t stand. His pain was so great that all he could do was whimper. And he stopped eating and drinking. On Saturday afternoon, Buddy’s favorite humans came to say goodbye (his Auntie Ann and His Auntie Valentina and his Auntie Laura) and then our wonderful vet came to the house, and we performed a beautiful ceremony and said goodbye. Except we all know that it is not goodbye. Rumi says it so perfectly: “Goodbyes are only for those who love with their eyes. Because for those who love with heart and soul there is no such thing as separation.”

Someday I will see Buddy again. But until that day comes, I know that I will feel his spirit with me at all times. And if there is one thing that my experience with Buddy has taught me, it is that there is an invisible door between this world and the next; a door that says DO NOT ENTER to the human mind. But the myriad riches of possibilities that await those that open that door and enter!

Until we meet again.